Episode Transcription

39: Overcoming Fear and Building Confidence in Business

Hello, lovely lady. Welcome to classroom to business, the podcast designed specifically for teachers working to become successful businesswomen and creating financial freedom and lifestyle flexibility. I'm Kirsty Gibbs, business coach and mentor for educators and teachers just like you who are ready to step away from the classroom and create something more. The Classroom to Business podcast is committed to helping you grow your business, break down those barriers to success, and replace your teaching salary without having to work more hours.

It's time for you to find freedom and start being your own boss so you can once again enjoy what you do and wake up each morning loving life.

Let's get into it. Today's episode is all about dealing with the emotional challenges of starting a business. Now, if you've thought about starting a tutoring business, or any business, or if you've actually started a business, then I'm sure this episode will resonate with you. There are so many things that come into our mind, so many fears and limiting beliefs and negative thoughts that we have when we think about starting a business.

The thing is, I look at starting a business as something that's super exciting and I am inspired. And I guess I don't, can't think of any other word but excited for ladies when they come to me and they talk about their ideas to start a business. Now, I know, however, from my own experience and from working with plenty of ladies, that that excitement goes hand in hand with some fear. And what I want to talk about today is understanding fear and instead taking action and building confidence.

So there have been plenty of times in my own journey where I have been scared. And I have let fear get the better of me. And I'm sure that, you know, whether it's in your business journey or in your personal life, there are times where you can remember where fear has got the better of you and you just haven't taken a path or followed a path or taken action. And that idea or that thing that you were trying to do never came to fruition because fear got the better of you and you weren't able to get the courage to take action in business.

I don't want this to be the case for you. I want you to be able to feel the fear. And I get that we all get scared of things, but move forward. I want you to be able to recognize when things are scary, why they're scary, and what you can do about them. So, I mean, if I even think back to when I started my tutoring business, I had fear and doubt about if I could do it. But for me, the excitement was much greater and kind of took over. And I just knew that I was going to make this work no matter what.

That's not the case for a lot of ladies. So a lot of people get these ideas and then they have all of these what ifs. They have all of these moments where they think, what if I fail? What if I offend somebody? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I can't make money? What if I can't make enough money? What if somebody steals my idea? What if I get sick? All of these things. Now, some of them, you know, they're valid. They're valid thoughts and they're things that we need to consider, but often they are things that never actually happen.

So my tutoring business was very, very different to actually this business, my coaching business. So when it came to my tutoring business, I just jumped in headfirst, pretty much. I, you know, had those little fears and doubts, but I just knew that I was going to make it work. And so when it came to this business, however, it was very different. It was a completely different industry. And I was doing something that I hadn't done before and I was in a different stage of my life and the fear was next level.

I was terrified. And it's. It's so ironic because the thing is, I was already doing this. I was already working with ladies, so with friends and friends of friends and just random people helping them with their businesses. But when I wanted to make it official, when I wanted to do my website, think of names for my membership, do my branding, all of those things, I stalled. And I actually spent months doing nothing because in my head, I thought I wasn't ready, even though I'd already been doing it for probably about 18 months, off the record, you know, just in my own way.

So I found that talking through my situation was helpful, but the biggest thing that actually made a difference was taking action. So I'm going to come back and talk about this a little bit more. But what I discovered was when I went out and charged for my very first coaching session, the relief that I got after that and the weight that came off my shoulders was just like. It was huge. And I know that this is true for so many tutors as well, especially when you've come from the classroom or you've come from, you know, another job where you don't have to come up with a price, you don't have to think about how much to charge, and all of a sudden you've got to put a value, a monetary value on yourself and your time and the impact that you're making.

And sometimes we feel really awkward and uncomfortable and icky about that. So when we're in that situation, fear stops us often from taking that step or from putting a good price on our services. However, once we've had that first call with the parent or we've taken that first tutoring session with a student, it's like a whole new world opens up and it's this amazing feeling of excitement and achievement and just like, yes, I can actually do this. Like, I could do more of this and I could turn this into something much more than, you know, just a little side hustle.

So I know what you are going through if you are in those early stages and you're feeling that fear. And I also know how you're feeling and what you're going through if you're late in your business and you're looking at big changes. Maybe if you're looking at bringing on staff members. I remember that was probably the scariest time for me in my tutoring business, was hiring my first staff member. Because this is going to sound a little vain when I say it out loud, but in my head I thought, who can do this? Like I can?

And I know, right? Like, I actually can't believe that I'm admitting to that because it does sound so full of myself. But I think deep down, if we all stop and think about this, if you. If you've been in this situation, you would have had that thought as well. You would have thought, I've been working with these kids for so long, somebody else might come along, but they won't know how to work with them like I have, or they won't do this, or they won't do that, but we need to stop. We need to, like, we really need to get rid of that thought because there are so many people out there who can do what we can, what we can do, and they can do it better. Okay? So we need to bring those people into our business and help them to.

Sorry. And use them to help us grow our business and continue to make more of an impact. Off on a tangent there, sorry, but that situation of employing a staff member, I was worried that they wouldn't be good enough. But then I was also worried that they might be amazing and too good and my parents would like them more than they liked me. Then I was worried that they would steal my idea. Now, I've spoken to ladies who have said exactly that before, and now that I'm older and wiser, I can look back at that and say about myself again, I can't believe I said that.

A tutoring business was not my idea. School readiness, yes. It wasn't on the Gold coast when I started it, but it wasn't my idea. These things have been around for years and years and years and years and years yet because it was. It felt like all my idea. I felt like I had to, you know, keep it safe and secure and close to my chest and not share it with anybody else, which is so silly. But because I was scared that somebody else would take my idea, again, not helpful at all, and really not realistic, because tutoring is out there for anybody to do.

So I was scared that they'd be no good, you know, bringing on stuff. I was scared that they'd be too good. I was scared that they'd steal my ideas, that they'd steal my clients. All of those things I was worried about. Then I employed Pete, and Pete was my first ever staff member. And he was amazing. He was a high school teacher, but had such a great way connecting with any kid and parent who walked through our door.

And he had such an amazing background of experience, just worldly experience as well as teaching experience. And he was the perfect fit for me and my business. And I am forever grateful that I stepped outside my comfort zone and I had the courage to do something that terrified me, something that I didn't know the end result for, that had risks, because those benefits, in the end, far outweighed those risks.

So that might be you. You might be, like I said in the beginning of starting your business, and you have that impostor syndrome, those limiting beliefs, those doubts around. If you can do it, if it's really a thing, let me just tell you right now, it is a thing. And if you put the work in and the focus, you can do it. Or you might be a bit further down in your business, looking to employ staff, looking to open a second center, maybe looking to invest in yourself and your business again, you can do it. And I want you to look at the benefits versus the risks or the benefits of all the losses. Sorry.

Of not doing it. So one thing that I do when something pops up that scares me or that I don't want to do is I think about what's the worst possible thing that could happen if I did this. Now I'm just going to use the scenario of getting on social media. And when I say that, I mean, you know, maybe putting your face out there. So whether it's just a photo of you or doing some lives or some reels, but putting your face on social media, now, this is something that's really common and a lot of people are terrified of, and I get it.

I get it. But let's use that as an example. What I then think about is, what's the worst possible thing that can happen? So I put my face out there. The worst thing is I hate the way I look, I hate the way I sound. And maybe I fumble over my words and, you know, my friends and family see it and maybe somebody sends me a message and is like, oh, hey, I saw your real, or I saw your life. By the way, the only person that ever messages me about any mistakes I make on my social media is my mum.

But I am grateful because, you know, having a teacher for a mom, she finds all of my typos. But if you. If that's the worst thing that can happen, that you don't like the look of yourself, you don't think you sound great, you've made some mistakes or whatever, that's it. Like, really. And if you look at how many people would have actually seen that and then actually cared, like, no offense, but did they actually care?

It will be such a small number. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and to look perfect and to sound perfect and to get all of our words perfect all the time. It's just not possible. So, you know, that's the potentially the worst thing that could happen, is that you don't like what you've put out there. But probably everybody else hasn't even noticed that you made a mistake. And probably everybody else just, you know, has scrolled straight past it. If they're not interested, or if they're interested, they've stopped and they've listened, and that's what you want.

But let's flip it and let's think about what's the best thing that could happen if you jumped on there and you did your first reel or your first live, what's the best thing that could happen? I mean, the best thing that could happen is that that goes out and reaches the exact people that you are trying to work with. So if it's just on your social media or maybe someone's shared it or someone's tagged it and passed it on, that gets in front of parents who are wanting the support that you provide, they then follow you or check out your website and get in touch with you. You've now got more students.

So if you think about we, if I stop and if I let that fear paralyze me because I'm scared of what I might sound like and what I might look like. And by the way, there are plenty of ways to, you know, we all have days where we're feeling very flat and not looking our best. And I'm not saying that you have to use filters at all. That's not what I'm saying, but it is much more accepted on social media.

So if you have to put, you know, to get over that first hurdle of I don't like the way I look, if you have to put a filter on yourself, then do what you have to do. You do you. But don't let that fear of putting yourself out there hold you back from getting more clients, making more impact, and making more money. So I'm hoping that just from that one little example, you can see, like, the vast difference, the impact that you can make on your business just from taking action on something that scares you, that actually probably no one else even cares about.

So the next time that you think you have a fear, if you think I don't want to do something because I'm scared, I want you to sit down and jot down. What's the worst that could happen and what's the best that could happen? And then the other thing that I encourage everyone to do is to take action. So, like I've just said, fear can paralyze you and if you stay stuck there. So let's use the, you know, getting on social media.

Let's use that example again. If I've got that thought in my head, oh, I don't want to post on social media because I don't like the way that I look, or I don't like my voice. And that's the thought that I have, and I let that thought dictate my actions, which basically means I do nothing. I limit my chances of getting in front of those families, and I limit my chances of increasing my impact and my revenue, and I'm allowing that fear to take control, and I'm not taking any action.

I'm stuck. I'm paralyzed. But, and so I stay, not just stuck in terms of growth, but I stay stuck in that fear with that, those limiting thoughts and beliefs. The only way to get beyond that, it isn't just to sit there and say to myself, I look good, I sound good, I look good, I sound good. You've got to do something about it. You have to do that thing that is scaring you. The only way to move past fear is to do the thing that is scaring you.

And that can be scarier, that can be terrifying. And, you know, depending what that thing is that you're talking about, it might just be a little step, it might be something absolutely huge and life changing. But unless you take action, you stay stuck. So take action. Do the thing that scares you. And if you need to break it down, if you need to, you know, surround yourself with people to support you to do it.

If you need help in some way, I encourage you to do that because unless you take the action, you're not moving you forwards. Now there common fears also pop up when things are changing. Okay? So it's not just around doing something that scares you, for example, you know, like using social media. But it's also when for a lot of people, it's when there is a big change. And I know that for a lot of people who are in the classroom still and looking to leave, that that is huge.

The change. Associate the fears associated with leaving a secure job and moving to something that's uncertain, that's completely new. They can potentially be barriers to success. So don't forget that if you're in that very early stage to go through what's the worst that can happen, what's the best that can happen and then take action. Now, the other thing that I wanted to touch on is building confidence.

So just a couple of little things. I don't want to go into this too much today, but some tips on building confidence. The first one is setting small, achievable goals. So if you're thinking about starting a business and you're like, oh, it's just so much, you know, like I said before, there's all these fears associated with leaving a secure job and not. Not knowing what I'm doing, not knowing how much money I'll make, not knowing where I'm going, they can become barriers to success.

So break it down. Work backwards. What is it that you want to have in six months? What is it that you want to have in three months? What do you want to have in one month? What can you work on today or this week? What small achievable goals can you set so that you're not saying to yourself, I'm going to make, I'm going to, sorry, have ten students in six months. Instead, you've broken it down. You said, okay, this month I'm going to create my website and my branding.

That's it. That's all I'm focusing on. That's achievable in my head. It might be a little scary because I haven't done it before. It might be uncomfortable because I've got to learn new skills and talk to people that potentially, you know, have no idea what they're saying. I'm talking about developers right now, but you're taking small steps that are manageable to get you past your fears. The other tip is celebrate success, no matter how small. And I go on about this all the time with the ladies inside of my membership and my private clients as well.

You are in your own business, running your own business. You have to be your biggest cheerleader. Now, obviously, if you're part of the tutoring growth membership or working with me, I am one of your biggest cheerleaders and you have a full community cheering you on. But in your own business, you don't have anybody holding you accountable, telling you what to do and you don't have anybody celebrating those wins for you and with you.

So every week, every month, no matter how small or how big they are, celebrate your wins. And what I like to do is write them down. And whether you just write them on a little piece of paper and put them into a jar or write them in a book, because there will come a time, I can guarantee you, where things get hard and you want to give up, you want to throw in the towel and you may even potentially want to go back to the classroom.

But go back and look at the wins that you've had along the way. Because we often tend to focus on all of the negatives, the things that have gone wrong, the things that we haven't done, the things that are scaring us, the fears that are stopping us. We focus on these things all the time, the things that are too hard. And instead, if we can sprinkle in some wins and successes along the way, it helps to balance things out and keep us going and keep us motivating and remind us, actually I'm doing a really great job.

Sure, my goal is 20 kids by the end of the year, but I've already got five. You know, and I might be feeling really flat right now because I haven't had any new students for the last month, but I got five new students as soon as I opened the doors. That was a win. So I know that I can do it. I know that I can get more students. Just got to go back and figure out how I can replicate that and do it again.

The third tip I have on building confidence is engaging with supportive communities of like minded individuals. Now, obviously I'm biased and I think that I've got a pretty amazing community of women in the tutoring growth membership as well as the teachers in business retreat, which is coming up very soon. But when you are engaging with other people who are going through the same thing as you, it is one of the best ways to build confidence, because you can see they've gone through the same thing as you, or they are being challenged by the same thing as you.

Alternatively, you might be. You might have gone through something that they are going through so you can offer support and not only does that help that person, but it internally, subconsciously, prove to you that you are kicking goals, that you are being successful in these things, that you've got these achievements and these wins, because now actually you can show somebody else how to do it. So engaging with supportive communities of like minded individuals is such a great way to help you build confidence.

And this is, you know, in life in general, whether it is in business or in your home, in your personal life, having those people around you just think about, you know, when you became a first time mum. How good was it having a mother's group? How good was it to have somebody to talk to who understood what it was like to wake up five times during the night and then continue to, you know, feed and change nappies and feed and change nappies all day, every day? How good was it to have someone who understood what it was like to lose your identity basically, or completely change your identity from working full time to being at home full time and having your own life to becoming a full time parent?

Having people alongside you who get it is such a great way to make you feel comfortable and confident. Now, I wanted to finish with some stress management techniques. Again, just touching on it this episode, because often with fear, and I know that for myself, sometimes we overthink things and it can cause all sorts of issues within our, you know, for our emotions and for our bodies. So I wanted to just share some techniques, just a couple that we've had success with sharing inside the membership that you might want to take on board or that might just trigger you to think of what you could potentially do to help you manage your stress.

So the first one is making time for yourself. Now, I know this is something that a lot of people talk about, but when my girls were really young and it got to a point where, you know, they could be left with somebody else, my Monday mornings were my me time. And it was the most amazing thing, other than having kids, obviously, but the most amazing thing to all of a sudden happen in my life. Because every Monday morning, even if it was rainy, even if it was cold.

I went down to the beach and I put my feet in the sand and I sat there for an hour and I just did nothing. I didn't take a book. I didn't even take my phone. I just switched off. And it was so nice that for me, there's something really special about getting my feet in the sand. I really, really love it and it's calming and it's just a time to completely switch off. Now, you might not have that luxury. You might not live near the beach, you might not have an hour a week, but I encourage you to find time.

I know for a lot of parents you're going to say in the toilet, that's the only time I get peace and quiet. And then a lot of you are going to say, no, I don't even get peace and quiet then. But come up with a time. If you can start with once a week, if you can eventually get to something every day where you have a little bit of time to switch off from work life, from mum life, from wife life, from whatever it is, to just chill out, maybe it is to read a book, maybe it's to go for a walk, maybe, you know, it's to do some yoga or some pilates or something, you know, where you're still active, but your brain is having time to just chill.

And you don't have, you know, 100 demands, 100 decisions to make, lots of questions to be answered where you can just be. So that's the first thing. The second thing I'm going to say is set boundaries. Now, this is also going to be helping you to manage your stress, but it's really more of a do it now to avoid the stress building up. So, you know, if you've got staff, set boundaries with your staff, let them know exactly when they can and can't call you and how they can contact you.

When you are running a business and your phone number is out there for people to call, you need to make sure those people know when they can and can't call you. If they've called you outside of your work hours, don't answer your phone. If people are emailing you at all hours of the night or morning, do not respond. Turn the notifications off your phone. You don't need. If you can set your routine up, you don't need to have email notifications going on on your phone.

You can go in and check your emails, you know, first thing in the morning and in the afternoon, whatever your routine is that you set up, but you don't need to be putting emails and phone calls before your family time, before your new time, before the things that are just as important and that make up life outside of work. So it's really, really important to have those boundaries and then even within your family, set boundaries as well.

You know, just things as simple as when it's dinner time, we all sit together. When it's dinner time, we don't have phones at the table. When somebody's talking to you, you put your phone down. You know, there's so much of that. And I'm. I'm not saying, like, I'm perfect at these, but these are things that more and more we are on our devices, and more and more we are disconnecting from people, and that is adding to stress.

That is not helping our bodies to slow down. It is not helping our bodies to live and enjoy that moment. All right, it's a bit of a deeper one today, but hopefully you've got some ideas on things that you can do when you are faced with fear and when you're not feeling confident. Some things that you can do to build that confidence and some ways that you can start to manage some of that stress that might be coming on to you, whether it's emotionally, physically, because of the way that things are going for you with that fear and overthinking and all of those sorts of things.

Now, before we finish, I want to remind you that the teachers in business retreat is running next month. So it's the 26th. Oh, hang on, let me just check that date because I don't want to tell you the wrong date. 24th to the 26 May in Kabarita, which is northern New South Wales. So it's a 20 minutes drive from the Gold coast. It is going to be amazing. At the time of recording this, I've only got a few spots left.

If you are just starting, if you have been in for five years, if you've been in for 15 years, there is no limit on experience or, you know, business journey situation. This is for teachers in business who are wanting to connect with other like minded women, learn from myself and other women who have been there, done it before, going through it, being challenged and coming out the other end, and just to plan forward for the next three to six months and come away with an action plan of the goals broken down into what they need to focus on.

Now, this ties in nicely with today's episode because a lot of us lack that confidence sometimes and we are paralyzed by fear and we don't know what to do. We're overwhelmed and we're confused and we're like, oh, I'm not really sure. I don't want you to feel like that. Okay? I want you to be so sure of what to do next and how to do it. And that's a big part of what we will work through at the teachers in business retreat.

So I'll put the link in the show notes. Otherwise, you can go to www.kirstygibbs.com retreat or send me a DM on Instagram or Facebook and I can answer any questions you have. Otherwise, enjoy the rest of your day or evening. Thanks for listening in and I'll see you next time.

If you enjoyed this episode today, I would absolutely love for you to leave a review. It only takes a minute and if you haven't yet subscribed, make sure you Do to ensure that you never miss an episode. Finally, if you want to know more about what we do, head over to the website kirstygibbs.com or check out the Link in the show notes below. Thanks for listening. It's so great to have you here.